Someone needs a talking to.

A long time ago I wrote this joke:

Having a baby is like riding a bike; they both really hurt your crotch.

Eh? Whaddaya think? Pretty good, right?

I was thinking about that amazing joke because over the weekend I participated in a large-scale bike ride (it was NOT a race, so it's not a big deal that I came in last), and it was intense. I was on my bike for over three hours, peddling, alternately loving and hating life depending on the grade of the road.

The entire experience was actually great except for one moment. One small incident that irked me and is causing me to write a blog entry about it. I was CHASTISED.

There are few things in this world that I dislike more than getting in trouble. (It's a unique attribute, and I am special because of it.)

This particular dressing-down came from a complete stranger which is the WORST because it's so surprising. She was passing me on her bike (probably about the 5,000th person to do so during the ride) and as she went by, she yelled "Stay to the right if you're not passing!"

Until that point, I was happy, enjoying the scenery and singing the lyrics to "Moves Like Jagger" in my head. But that one comment completely shamed me into a guilty hate-spiral in which I felt stupid but also hated that lady so much. I mean it's not like I was weaving all over the place on a busy city street. I mean I don't think I was. I mean you can't prove it.

Have you ever been put in your place by a stranger? Why is it so awful? Is it just my Catholic guilt at work or does everyone feel this way?

I really think people should email me stories of getting in trouble with strangers at thelazystandup@gmail.com and then I will create a post with everyone's stories (anonymous or not, your choice). It would be very therapeutic for all of us.

You should do it.

Yes, you.

I have another story about a time a man actually got out of his car to criticize my parking. It was bad; I don't even want to tell you, but I will -- if you share some good ones with me. See? Motivation.

Can't wait to hear from you!