Present Overdose

Hello and welcome to my last post of 2013. It's been a delightful year. I started this blog, got yelled at by various strangers, and even slept one time. Memories.

Over the last week, my children received a lot of presents. Like, a lot. We're thinking of buying a second home to contain the presents. Just kidding! We can't afford that because we recently spent all of our money on D batteries. 

After watching my son open gifts for twenty-four hours straight, I've decided that there is a point of diminishing returns when it comes to presents and children. It always starts off great, but by the end you have a crabby, delusional, entitled mess of a tiny human. Allow me to illustrate my point with illustrations:

First Present: Joy! The child is surprised and delighted to receive a gift. 

 

Second Present: Shock and awe. The child is shocked and honored to receive more than one gift.

Presents 3-5: Incomprehensible Jubilation. The child is lost in his own rapture.

Present 6: Confused Frustration. The child is torn between the thrill of receiving new gifts and the desire to actually play with some of the gifts he's been given.

Presents 7-8: Emotional void. The child has lost ability to comprehend more presents. He is momentarily polite.

Present 9: Beginning of rudeness. Now with a second wind (from a candy cane) the child is ready to receive more presents. However, the shock and joy are gone and the expectation of more gifts has commenced. 

Present 10+: Full-blown rudeness. Your child is now a total jerk who does not deserve more presents, but keeps getting them anyway.

Entitled Child. Your child is now fully-over getting presents, and doesn't realize when the presents run out.

Disoriented entitled child. When his hand is not automatically filled with another wrapped present, the child is confused. His sense of how the world works is being shaken to the core.

Take cover. The fall-out of too many presents. There is nothing you can do at this point but detox your child and allow the poison of spoiled-ness work its way through his system. You can also feel ashamed that so many kids don't get any presents and yours literally overdosed on them, but don't dwell on that too long because it's not very upbeat and you're trying to write a comedy blog (right?).
                                             

Anyway, that's what happened at my house.

By the way, do you enjoy the drawings on this blog? You do? That is so nice! Hey, I have an idea. You could support the fine art of stick-figure creations by voting for mine on this blog. That's right! I'm in a contest and currently I'm getting beat by a picture of some little girls eating pasta. Lame, right? I'm better than little kids. For sure I am! Go me!

To vote, make a comment on the blog supporting Picture #2. It's a big deal.

See you next year! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA.