C.P.A.

I've been meaning to tell you about a new development in my house. I believe the term is CPA, or "constant pointless arguing." My two children, little darlings that they are, have taken to bickering about just about everything they could possibly ever argue about. Such as:
1.

 

2: 

 

Even when they are not in the same room, they find reasons to argue.

 

3.

Here are my responses to the above scenarios:

1. You are both Batman.  An evil genius cloned you and no one knows which Batman was the original, so now you share an apartment like an action-packed version of the Odd Couple. And go.

2. Everything is out my window because my window is the windshield! You both lose!

3. STOP TALKING! GO TO BED! NO ONE IS DREAMING ABOUT TURTLES TONIGHT SO HELP ME GOD!

Anyway, I don't know where they get this. I never argued with my sisters growing up. We just read books, braided each others' hair, and baked cookies for our dolly tea parties. My favorite doll was Celeste, but sometimes one of my sisters would want play with Celeste, so I would be like "Excuse me, that is my dolly" and she would be like "Oh I beg your pardon, I thought it was my turn" and I would politely say "No, it not" and she would courteously say "Oh but it is" and I would charmingly scream "NO IT'S NOT!" and she would sweetly scream "I WISH MOM AND DAD NEVER HAD YOU!" and I would say "I AM GOING TO CUT OFF YOUR HAIR WHILE YOU SLEEP TONIGHT" and so on and so forth.

So what I'm saying is, who knows where these boys get it?