Happy Valentiny Day

An Ode to My Husband

You are the one who takes out the trash

and empties the diaper genie.

You are the one who brushes our kids’ teeth

because I find their use of blue toothpaste

So disgusting.

You are the one who doesn’t make a big deal

when I yell at the computer,

or forget where I put my phone

three times in an hour

                                                Every day.

You are the one who calls my phone every time I lose it

and pretend to believe me

when I say it was stolen at a restaurant

when it is really in my jacket pocket

                                                            Again.

Oh my husband,

being married to me is no picnic I’m sure.

But let us not forget our sacred vows,

and that you are also a pain in the rear

                                                            Sometimes.