My Super-Serious Condition That I Have Now

Way back when I was an adolescent, I was sitting in the kitchen one day eating my breakfast before school. Next to me sat my sister, and across from us stood my mother, who never sits but instead cleans incessantly.

My sister and I were eating a typical breakfast of cereal. I don't know what kind. I'd say it was Life, or maybe Corn Pops. Not sure. Not the point.

Anyway, the reason this particular breakfast stands out to me over all the others is because of a little  incident that took place. You might call it an outburst. I don't know. Just shhh...

It was quiet in the kitchen that day, no one was really in the habit of friendly chit-chat in the morning. However, one sound did mange to cut through the silence: the sound of my sister eating.

I don't know if it was because I was overtired, or if I was having a bad week or something, but everything about the process of my sister's cereal-eating was so disgusting that day I couldn't take it. The click of the spoon against the teeth, the slightest slurp of the milk as it went in her mouth, the gross semi-soggy crunch of the Corn Pops (or Life?)  as she mashed them into mush. Ughhh. Even now, I can't stand to think of it.

Eventually I lost it. OH MY GOD STOP CLICKING YOUR SPOON IT IS SO DISGUSTING! Or something like that. Something mature and reasonable.

Both my mom and sister stopped dead in their tracks, shocked by my sudden rage, and then gave me the "you-are-the-rudest-teenager-and-we-are-ashamed-to-be-related-to-you" look -- something I was not unfamiliar with in those days.

At the time I just continued to be rude, indignant that they didn't hear how gross those noises were. But now I realize, thanks to  this article, that the way my sister was eating her cereal that day was not actually gross. She was probably eating in a very normal, polite way. In fact, most people whose disgusting mouth noises have driven me over the edge have probably not been doing anything gross or weird with their mouths. It's me. It's my ears. I have misophonia.

This is a shock to me, of course. Misophonia is a thing? Really? Well, probably not, but still. I might have a condition, y'all. A straight-up condition. And the condition is not me using the phrase "y'all," despite being by all accounts not-Southern. It's that my ears and brain are in a toxic relationship called misophonia.

Is it possible that all of those kissing scenes in movies are actually not horrifying to listen to?

Is it possible that my husband's gum chewing is not the worst sound that's ever crossed my ear holes?

Is it possible that my anger was not righteous, but unfounded?

My husband chewing gum.

Eh, not sure.