Scaring today's generation.

It's almost Halloween, and you know what that means: time to argue three about when is and isn't an appropriate time to wear one's costume! For all you three-year-olds reading this, here is a list for your reference (p.s. congratulations on knowing how to read!):

Appropriate times for wearing your costume:
1. Costume parties
2. Halloween
3. Dress-up time

Inappropriate times for wearing your costume:
1. While eating spaghetti
2. To bed
3. On the potty
4. Picture day

I hope this helps.

In addition to fighting over wardrobe, Halloween is also a great time to scare your children instead of love them. Unfortunately, our children seem strangely impervious to fear. My three-year-old has watched "Nightmare Before Christmas" like three times now and he loves it. [Have you seen that movie? It's terrifying.] The one-year-old just laughs when you sneak up on him and yell "Boo!" Or "Gotcha!" in a demon voice -- and both of them think monsters are great (thanks a lot, Sesame Street).

What's a mother to do? How can I strike terror into the hearts of my most beloved babies this Halloween?

Well don't worry, that question is rhetorical because I already came up with a great solution. I hereby present my new line of terrifying costumes for mothers of small children. These out-of-the-box looks are guaranteed to make your little pumpkin cry for daddy!

TERRIFYING COSTUMES FOR MOTHERS OF SMALL CHILDREN

 

Enjoy!