Are you smarter than a seventh grader?

Is it just me, or is studying grammar really, really fun?

Oh, it is just me? Okay. That's cool.

All week I have been teaching grammar in my class. It will come as no surprise to you that twelve-year-olds are not super-into the topic. Me, I love it. I love writing long, clear sentences that use punctuation in such a way that makes them fun -- if not downright delightful -- to read.

Were you taught grammar in school? Did you diagram sentences? Did you have to write pages and pages of notes on comma rules, FANBOYS, and subordinate clauses that you still keep in your closet and reference from time to time? Me too!!!

Well, let's see what you remember. Are you ready? I wrote you a quiz! If you ace it, you can come to my school and teach because, to be honest, I'm not getting very far.


                                         THE LAZY STAND-UP GRAMMAR QUIZ

1. Many students don't know jack about grammar.

In this sentence, the word "jack" is used as a:

A) noun
B) verb
C) adjective
D) adverb


2. Often, I want to poke my own eyes out while teaching seventh graders about grammar.

In this sentence, the word "out" is used as a:

A) conjunction
B) interjection
C) preposition
D) pronoun


3. What is a pronoun?

A) a professional noun
B) a person who supports noun's rights
C) a word that stands in place of a noun
D) stupid


4. When a noun isn't "proper," it's called a __________ noun.

A) rude
B) a total ass
C) ill-mannered
D) common


5. I fully expect twenty students to egg my house on Halloween due to the grammar unit.

In this sentence, the word "twenty" is used as a:

A) noun
B) verb
C) adjective
D) adverb


6. When I ask my students how they're doing, a grammatically-correct response would be:

A) Good!
B) Well!
C) Bad!
D) We no like you!


7. What is wrong with this sentence?

Each of my students love circling nouns and underlining verbs for thirty minutes.

A) It is inherently untrue
B) It lacks subject-verb agreement
C) It is not funny; this blog is supposed to be funny
D) It ends in a preposition





Answers: 1-A, 2-C, 3-C, 4-D, 5-C, 6-B, 7-B