Catfish

You guys, I got catfished! It turns out the "husband" to whom I've been married for the last six and a half years is actually an elderly, toothless woman from Mississippi! I feel SO used. Why did I agree to say our vows over text message?!

Just kidding. I actually decided to meet my spouse in person before starting a relationship with him. (We're traditional.)

Last weekend I found myself sitting in a hotel room watching "Catfish," a TV show about people who have been duped into falling in love with someone who actually doesn't exist via the internet. It was both sad and infuriating.

Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but it seems that everyone who has ever been "catfished" shares one characteristic: being super dumb.

If you are in love with someone, and they are in love with you, and yet for some reason they never want to speak on the phone and/or see you in person, then that is a huge red flag. Actually, it's not even a red flag. It's whatever the red flag is supposed to warn you of, but it's actually there in front of you, screaming in your face.

In my experience, people in love really like to be together physically. And I mean that in both a dirty and non-dirty way. There is something about actually seeing the person to whom you've committed yourself, in-person, that makes the whole thing more worthwhile. Am I right, normal people?

I guess teenagers are so used to communicating via text messaging and social networks that to know someone exclusively through the internet is pretty commonplace. But eventually you gotta at least video chat, right? I mean right?

Call me a jerk, but if one of my children ever gets catfished, I'm not going to feel badly for him. I am going to feel badly for me for raising such a rum-dum.

Seriously.

Oh, and the best part of the episode was when they found the actual guy from the pictures on the fake profile. This random guy, who was officially the hottest man I've ever seen, didn't know his pictures had been stolen to lure in online dates, but when the producers of the show told him, his reaction was, "Oh yeah, that's happened to me a bunch of times."

A bunch of times. Can you imagine?! To be that attractive. Wow.

Anyway, I just think people should be comfortable with who they are. There is no need to create false identities to find true love! So, in the spirit of full-disclosure, here is an updated pic of me.

Have a great weekend.